Monday, August 6, 2012

I-5 with a madman in a death machine

Unlike Jerry Seinfeld, Jim is basically the World's Best Driver. I'll give him that.

That thought was completely absent from my mind as we hurtled down I-5 at 75 mph. It was more like 'how do I get this madman to stop pressing buttons'?

Driving this wonder of German engineering and electronics was not enough. No, Jim's fingers just couldn't stay away from the buttons. For hours it went like this:
Jim: What's this one do?
Me: No clue, lemme look it up (gets out manual).
Jim: (presses button) Doesn't do anything!
Me: Jim! Quit pressing the buttons! They do stuff!
Jim: Well, how ELSE are we going to know what they do?

What Jim wanted more than anything in the world was a real-time display of gas mileage on the console. The default is a running average. Jim wanted, no, absolutely needed us to rejig the display to show miles-per-gallon, this very moment. The closest he could get without help was resetting the trip computer. Over and over.

Of course, I had the manual. But after a few rounds of this game I wasn't telling. The procedure was too complicated and further distractions seemed unwise.

Somewhere around Williams a loud beeping noise interrupts the blasting music. Jim looks at me, startled. I turn the music all the way down and glance at the console.

In a button-pushing frenzy, Jim set an alarm for when the car exceeded a certain speed. The alarm had just gone off.

I held off for a second (or two) before telling him.

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