Monday, February 27, 2017

This


The other day there was a stuffed, heavily taped envelope in our mailbox. The address was familiar, a friend's house. What did I forget?

Inside was actually something new!

Normally I'm not into gifts and the sender is the same way. For us it's about laughing, telling stories and jokes, eating, and maybe doing something outdoors. The good feelings top up everyone's tank for the work week and whatever the next fight may bring.

Sometimes too much comes all at once. Lately it's been raining major stressors, serious life events that have needed dealing with, like death of a family member, job change, chronic injury/pain. None of it within my control.

It doesn't come naturally for me to reach out to another human and talk about suffering. For lots of reasons. Instead I go quiet, silently buckling down.

A friend noticed. She collected all the data points, little factoids, and put everything together and just came out and said I had a lot going on. It would be all right to feel overwhelmed. At that point, I might have exhaled for the first time in months. Someone saw what I was going through, someone was a witness. There's no stronger antidote to difficulty and pain and no better way to survive it.

So I'm thinking that this delicate silver thing, lovely and almost shocking in its optimism, is not even the real gift.

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